Day 30.)A letter to yourself: tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

Wow Day Thirty I actually did it. wow I am impressed even if some of my posts have been pretty lame. I actually dio the 30 days of truth.

Dear Me,
I am grateful that you are a good mommy. I know that at times it is hard to be patient with two very active boys. I love that you get to stay home and take care of them even if that means you are a jumping bag or a jungle gym. I love that you have the ability to play the piano even though at times it is tempting to wish that you didn't becasue that is all you seem to do at church. Keep up the good work. Your sons are really precious and the time you spend with them will help them down the road.
Love Me

Day 29.)Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

Something I hope to change about myself. I need to be more patient. It is hard to be patient with my two little boys when they will not let me sleep. But I know that by being patient with them I will tend to be more calm. But it sure is hard when they are cranky and I am feeling cranky. I guess this is just a life long learning process of being patient. I know That if I am patient enough I will be able to get my fence up and I will be ABLE TO HAVE A CAR AGAIN DURING THE DAYS. I know that but knowing and doing are two differnt things and it is really frustrating having no car during the day. I make do. But It is hard when ahte weather is crummy and everyone has cabin fever.

Day 28.)What if you were pregnant, what would you do?

This seems like a silly question since i am a mom. If I was pregnant I would be preparing myself and my two little boys for a third addition to the family. I would do my best to take care of myself and the rest of my family while I was growing a new little one inside of me. I would rest as much as possible with having two active little boys at home and I think that I would be excited. But as this is only a hypothetical situation and not reality I think that this is what I would do.

5 years Yipee!

5 years ago today I Married my sweetheart. It has been an adventure ever since. We went to Hawaii 6 months after we were married. We have dealt with the death of Stephens mother. We have had two beautiful boys. We have bought a house. Stephen changed jobs and now works for the railroad.We have dealt with not sleeping for 18 months because baby Alex refuses to sleep for 18 months. So life has been an adventure for us and i hope it continues to be for the next five years. I am so grateful to be a wife and a mom. I like me job as full time wife and full time mom. There is nothing that I would rather be doing except maybe catching up on my sleep but i doubt That I will ever be able to do that. I am grateful that my sweetheart is able to provide and support our little family.

Day 27.)What’s the best thing going for you right now?

The best thing going for me right now is my children. Alex and Benjie are growing like weeds. They are learning alot too. Today is my Benjie's 4th Birthday. Wow. He is almost potty trained which is a big Blessing. He is learning his colors and his numbers. We did a bead craft the other day where we were learning about patterns and colors. He Talks non stop and likes to tell stories. He is such a big boy.
Alex is trying very hard to keep up with his brother. He has been in his big boy bed now for almost a month but he still wants to sleep with mommy in the recliner. Someday maybe I will get an uninteruppted nights sleep but that is hard to do with my little boy. Yesterday Alex opened the fridge and broke all the eggs in one of the vegetable drawers. I guess he thought he was cooking but nevertheless lets just say I was less then thrilled with him.
At Church I am the Primary pianist. We had our Primary Program a few weeks ago and lets just say I am grateful it is over and done with. Now we are working on songs for the Christmas Program. Let me say that I love being a mommy. There are days like yeasterday that are incredibly frustrating but then I walk in wthe boys rooms when they are sleeping and they look like little angels and it makes it all worth it. With my two very active boys life is never boring.

Day 26.)Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

no I have never thought about giving up on life. Life is hard and we are here to learn from our choices. I have been seriously depressed and discouraged by some of the choices that I have made in my life. But I have never reached the point where I had wanted to give up.

Day 25.)The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

I believe I am still alive today becasue I have two special little boys to take care of. I need to learn about being a good mommy and the only way I can do that is to be a mommy to my special little boys. I love being a mom even when I do not get enough sleep becasue my little alex needs me all night long. I have so much to offer my children even when I feel awful and lazy.
My Benjamin is turning 4 tomorrow. He is getting so big. He is basically potty trained now and he loves going to church. He is learning his colors and his Abcs. He is learning about patterns and learning how to count. He loves helping his daddy whenever his daddy is outside working. I am so grateful for my Benjamin and My Little Alex. Time sure is flying. They grow up so fast. I keep having to remind myself to enjoy the moments now becasue they will not be here again.

Day 24.)Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

The Play list of Songs
One Man's Dream ---- Yanni
Love Story Meets Love Story ---- Jon Schmidt
Dumb Song --- Jon Schmidt
ROCKmaninoff --- Jon Schmidt
Walking on Sunshine ----- Katrina and the Waves
I've Done Everything For You ---- Rick Springfield
These Boots are Made for Walking ----- Nancy Sinatra
Time After Time ---- Cyndi Lauper
Girls Just wanna have fun ----- Cyndi Lauper
Amanda ---- Boston
A Little Bit Country , A little Bit Rock and Roll ---- Donny and Marie Osmond

I picked a little bit of everything. I like these songs when I am in certain moods. Some songs are good for dancing, some songs are good for when you are feeling blue, some songs are just fun to listen to and some songs help you relax.

Day 23.)Something you wish you had done in your life.

Something I wish I have done in my life would be to travel more. I wish that I had found a way for me to do a united States arcitecture tour and go visit the sourthern plantations in the South. I wish I had been able to recover my mission journal that was stolen from me by some creep trying to get back at me! I wish that I had tried out for the volleyball team in High School. I was good but I just did not have the confidence in myself to play. I wish that I had tried out for the plays in high school instead of waiting for my senior year to do that.

Day 22.)Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

This is a hard one for me because there are a lot of things that I wish I had not done but on the other hand if I had not done these things I never would have learned the lessons that I have learned. I have made some wrong choices in my life but those choices have taught me some valuable life lessons. The only regret I have is that I tend to learn the hard way. How much less painful for me it would have been not to make the choices that I had made.

Day 21.)(scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

I would go visit her in the hospital and tell her I was sorry for getting in a fight with her.I would then offer to ghelp cook a meal for her family while she recovers.

Day 20.)Your views on drugs and alcohol.

I believe that drugs and alcohol are bad. They are just a means of running away from one problem and creating several more problems. They do not solve anything but just make situations far worse then they were. Plus they are addicting. the addiction casue the person to be trapped in a prison and it is very difficult to get out. So I believe for a person to be truly happy they need to at all costs avoid drugs and alcohol.

Day 19. What do you think of politics?

What Do I think about Politics. I think that it is sad that the Silent Majority in the united States stays silent until they get really mad at what is going on in Washington. Why is it that the liberal minorities are getting their way by going through the courts. This is ridiculous. We live in a land that says that it is democratic but if we let the minority win we are going to end up with Socialism. I for one do not want to live somewhere where the government forces me to have insurance and forces me to see a doctor and forces me to be healthy their way. I for one do not like doctors. I was given a brain and I intend to use it to keep my self healthy. There are other ways of getting well that do not force me to take pills that will kill me faster then if i had never gone to the doctor in the first place. I do not want to live in a place that forces me to vaccainate my children in order for them to be "accepted" in to school. I will not risk the health of my children in order to conform to the governments idea of Health care. Just because someone has a lot of money does not mean that they will make a good politicians. It seems that as soon as a person gets into a place of power they lose sight of all the little people that the pledged to protect and help. Forgive me for ranting but remember these are just my opinions. You are welcome to yours and If you disagree with me that is okay too.

Day 18.)Your views on gay marriage.

Okay this one may be a bit contoverisal but I will say these are my opinions and this is how i feel so I am sorry if I offend someone. So here goes,
My opinion of Gay Marriage is that it is wrong. I will quote from The Family A Proclamation to the World: The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
It says " We Solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is central to the creators plan for the eternal destiny of his children. All Human beings male and female are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and as such each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic if individual premortal, mortal and eternal identity and purpose."
So God has ordained marriage to be between a man and a woman. Any thing else is wrong. People may believe that they are born with same gender attraction. But they chose to act upon those feelings. they to don have to act on these feelings it is a choice. I can respect a person but I do not have to accept their choices or agree with their choices. I do not force my beliefs and choices on other people they should not force them on me. God is a loving Heavenly father and he will help people overcome these tendencies if they are willing to change.
Marriage is between a man and a woman and anything else is a fake pretense for a loving relationship between a man and his wife.
To me there is only marriage between a man and a woman. Anything else is just a relationship that is not marriage.

Day 17.)A book you’ve read that changed your views on something

I am a bookworm. I love to read. The Book that has changed my views on something would have to be The Book of Mormon. The Book of Mormon is a book of scripture. It is another testament of Jesus Christ. By reading it I come closer to my Father in Heaven. I come to know my Savior Jesus Christ. I come to learn that I am a Daughter of a loving Heavenly Father who wants me to be happy. By Reading this book I have learned that if I live the commandments of my Father In Heaven I will become like him and be closer to him. I know that Jesus is my savior. I know that he lives and that he want me to return to live with him someday. I know that the Lord has a plan for me and that if I follow his example I will beable to become as he is. I am so grateful for The Book of Mormon. Every time I read it I learn something new. It is a companion to the Bible because it Testifies of Jesus Christ. It proves that God is no respector of persons but loves his people everywhere.

Day 16.)Someone or something you definitely could live without

This is one about someone or something I could definately live with out. I could live without Dirty diapers. I could live without grumpy kids. I could live without not having a car during the day. I could live without the flu. I could live without junk mail. I could live without obnoxious people who think there opinons are right therefore everyone else is wrong. I could live without people who think that becasue there is oppostion to their way of thinking the opposition is wrong and it is the opposition who is bigeted and biased and racist. I could live without opposition but if I did that then I would never know the good from the evil I would never now real happiness. I would never know gratitude for all the blessings that I have in my life. If there was no opposition then life would be pretty dull.

Day 15.)Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

This is a difficult one for me. Let me think. I would think that it would be my family. There was a time that I had a person in my life that my family didn't like and knew was the wrong person for me and I was hard headed about it and put him in my life anyway and nearly managed to alienate my entire family. Luckily I came to my senses and got rid of this person so I could be with my family but I still have some issues with my relationship with some of my family members because of that idiotic choice I made. So to me Family is very important to me. Family is what gets you through the bad times and the good times. Family is important even if you do not see eye to eye.

Day 14.A hero that has let you down.

For privacy the names in this letter have been changed.
Dear Uncle Ron,
For all of my life I have looked up to you and thought you were a knight in shining armor set out to rescue Damsels in distress on your white charger. When I was little you used to tease me about being found in a cabbage patch and my brother was found in a catalog and my sister found under a rock of broken sand dollars. When I was 12 you gave me a hug and dipped me saying "parting is such sweet sorrow." Just like Cary Grant did to one of the girls in Father Goose that we had watched the night before. Then all at once you were out of my life and you wanted nothing to do with my side of our family. I don't know why you suddenly jsut disappeared from my life but it hurt. Then When I turned 21 and had my farewell for my Mission. We came to see you when your daughter was getting married. You asked me what we were doing there becassue you thought I was busy. Well dear uncle we were doing what we are supposed to we were supporting family. Then when we left you gave me a hug and told me to be careful. So I realiazed that deep down you were still my Knight in shining armor that you were just hiding. I hope some day that you realize how much you niece loves you . But I guess I will just have to settle with the memories I have of you until you get your act togther and realize that family is very important. Thanks for listening.
Your Niece
MRE

Day 13.A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)

Dear Michael McClean,
Whenever I am having a hard time I always enjoy listening to your music. You songs offer comfort and help me realize that I am not alone and that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me. Some of my favorite songs of your are: You are not Alone, From Gods arms to my arms to Yours, The Garden, and of course I cannot forget the Forgotton Carols. I am so grateful to have these songs when I am feeling down or feeling like I am a failure. They uplift me sometimes they make me more sad but most of the time they help me get a different perspective on life which helps cheer me up. Thank you for being so inspired to write these songs.

A loyal Listener

I really like the songs by Michael McClean because they are so uplifting. I am grateful that there is good music out there that I can listen to when I need a pick me up.

Day 12: Something I never get complimented on

This is a hard one. Hmm let me think. Something I never get complimented on huh? Well I like to cook and I do cook some good dinners but I guess my boys , hubby included just take me forgranted. That is okay that is part of being mom. I do not get complimented on how hard I work to help my boys grow. But I would not want to be complimented on that somedays because I feel like I am the one learning and not my boys. I am grateful to me a hard working mommy who has her hands ful with to very smart and intelligent let boys who at times always know which buttons to push to make mommy crazy. I hope that I can continue to help them learn and progress and that someday I will feel less frazzeled at the end of the day. Until then another tired mommy bites the dust!

Day 11: Something someone is always complimenting you on

The compliments that I get the most often are how cute my boys are. I do have to admit that my boys are cute. But Hey i can be biased I'm their mom!

Day 10 Some one I Let go Or wished I didn' t know

There is this person that I know that I wish I didn't know. I met him at work when I was in college. He was the first guy that actually really paid attention to me. I was flattered of course. But it turns out he was a real jerk and he was just using me. I am grateful that he is out of my life. I wish I had never met him. But if that wish came true then all the lessons that I learned from that epsiode in my life would be null and void and that would not be right because I am grateful for the lessons I learned such as How much I love my family and how much my heavenly father loves me and is watching out for me. He really does see the big picture even if I can't from my limited perspective. I think he knew I needed that experience to help me learn and grow and years later become a better Mother. Though Going through that experience at the time with that person I never thought that it would make me a better mother.