Years in Review

I saw that a friend had done this on her blog and thought it was thought provoking.

20 Years ago (1990, Wow I am actually old enough to say this)
1. I was in 5th grade in Mrs. Blake and Mrs, Sullivans Class at Brooks Elementary in Windsor CA.
2. I was in a class produced play about the Bermuda Triangle.
3. I was able to walk to school which was fun when we were not being followed by strangers or having dumb boys jumping out of the bushes at us.
4. One of my best Friends Jenny Rhodes lived across the street from me so it was really easy to go out an play.

10 years ago (2000)
1. I was living in Davis California
2. I was taking my last semester of college before I went on my mission.
3. I turned in my mission papers and was waiting for my call!
4. I was working at Jack in the Box to earn money for my mission and for school!

5 years ago (2005)
1. I met and married my sweetheart Stephen Eigel
2. I was in a car accident that totaled my car two weeks after we were married.
3. I was working at Macy's in the childrens department.
4. I got my life back together after it falling apart for a few years

1 year ago (2009)
1. My babies are 1 and 3.
2. I became the primary pianst.
3. I am a stay at home mom and lving it.

This Year (2010)
1. I made a drive to California to visit my sister.
2. My babies turned 2 and 4
3. I am potty training my four year old and he is potty trained during the day anyway.
4. My Baby was weaned in Febuary and I started to get more sleep which was sorly needed.

Wow it has been kind of fun to reminence.

Busy December

I cannot believe that we are in December already. The Christmas Season is upon us. We will Keep really busy. We have a Church Christmas party on the 3rd that I really do not want to go to but I have to play for the primary children because they have been asked to sing. On the 4th my Nephew is getting Baptized. Yeah. That has been a long time in coming. Then on the 6th I have a Dentist appoinment. Yuck!!!! Then on the 7th I have a Relief Society Christmas Dinner. That should be fun On the 14th is a ward temple night. Then on the 15th There is a work Christmas Party for Stephen's work. THen from the 19th to the 26th We get to go to seaside with Stephen's Family. I hope that we all survive the trip as family relations are strained at best. So this Month is probably going to fly by for me. I am just grateful that I have the Christmas shopping done or I really would be stressed with being busy and trying to get that done.

Day 30.)A letter to yourself: tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

Wow Day Thirty I actually did it. wow I am impressed even if some of my posts have been pretty lame. I actually dio the 30 days of truth.

Dear Me,
I am grateful that you are a good mommy. I know that at times it is hard to be patient with two very active boys. I love that you get to stay home and take care of them even if that means you are a jumping bag or a jungle gym. I love that you have the ability to play the piano even though at times it is tempting to wish that you didn't becasue that is all you seem to do at church. Keep up the good work. Your sons are really precious and the time you spend with them will help them down the road.
Love Me

Day 29.)Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

Something I hope to change about myself. I need to be more patient. It is hard to be patient with my two little boys when they will not let me sleep. But I know that by being patient with them I will tend to be more calm. But it sure is hard when they are cranky and I am feeling cranky. I guess this is just a life long learning process of being patient. I know That if I am patient enough I will be able to get my fence up and I will be ABLE TO HAVE A CAR AGAIN DURING THE DAYS. I know that but knowing and doing are two differnt things and it is really frustrating having no car during the day. I make do. But It is hard when ahte weather is crummy and everyone has cabin fever.

Day 28.)What if you were pregnant, what would you do?

This seems like a silly question since i am a mom. If I was pregnant I would be preparing myself and my two little boys for a third addition to the family. I would do my best to take care of myself and the rest of my family while I was growing a new little one inside of me. I would rest as much as possible with having two active little boys at home and I think that I would be excited. But as this is only a hypothetical situation and not reality I think that this is what I would do.

5 years Yipee!

5 years ago today I Married my sweetheart. It has been an adventure ever since. We went to Hawaii 6 months after we were married. We have dealt with the death of Stephens mother. We have had two beautiful boys. We have bought a house. Stephen changed jobs and now works for the railroad.We have dealt with not sleeping for 18 months because baby Alex refuses to sleep for 18 months. So life has been an adventure for us and i hope it continues to be for the next five years. I am so grateful to be a wife and a mom. I like me job as full time wife and full time mom. There is nothing that I would rather be doing except maybe catching up on my sleep but i doubt That I will ever be able to do that. I am grateful that my sweetheart is able to provide and support our little family.

Day 27.)What’s the best thing going for you right now?

The best thing going for me right now is my children. Alex and Benjie are growing like weeds. They are learning alot too. Today is my Benjie's 4th Birthday. Wow. He is almost potty trained which is a big Blessing. He is learning his colors and his numbers. We did a bead craft the other day where we were learning about patterns and colors. He Talks non stop and likes to tell stories. He is such a big boy.
Alex is trying very hard to keep up with his brother. He has been in his big boy bed now for almost a month but he still wants to sleep with mommy in the recliner. Someday maybe I will get an uninteruppted nights sleep but that is hard to do with my little boy. Yesterday Alex opened the fridge and broke all the eggs in one of the vegetable drawers. I guess he thought he was cooking but nevertheless lets just say I was less then thrilled with him.
At Church I am the Primary pianist. We had our Primary Program a few weeks ago and lets just say I am grateful it is over and done with. Now we are working on songs for the Christmas Program. Let me say that I love being a mommy. There are days like yeasterday that are incredibly frustrating but then I walk in wthe boys rooms when they are sleeping and they look like little angels and it makes it all worth it. With my two very active boys life is never boring.

Day 26.)Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

no I have never thought about giving up on life. Life is hard and we are here to learn from our choices. I have been seriously depressed and discouraged by some of the choices that I have made in my life. But I have never reached the point where I had wanted to give up.

Day 25.)The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

I believe I am still alive today becasue I have two special little boys to take care of. I need to learn about being a good mommy and the only way I can do that is to be a mommy to my special little boys. I love being a mom even when I do not get enough sleep becasue my little alex needs me all night long. I have so much to offer my children even when I feel awful and lazy.
My Benjamin is turning 4 tomorrow. He is getting so big. He is basically potty trained now and he loves going to church. He is learning his colors and his Abcs. He is learning about patterns and learning how to count. He loves helping his daddy whenever his daddy is outside working. I am so grateful for my Benjamin and My Little Alex. Time sure is flying. They grow up so fast. I keep having to remind myself to enjoy the moments now becasue they will not be here again.

Day 24.)Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

The Play list of Songs
One Man's Dream ---- Yanni
Love Story Meets Love Story ---- Jon Schmidt
Dumb Song --- Jon Schmidt
ROCKmaninoff --- Jon Schmidt
Walking on Sunshine ----- Katrina and the Waves
I've Done Everything For You ---- Rick Springfield
These Boots are Made for Walking ----- Nancy Sinatra
Time After Time ---- Cyndi Lauper
Girls Just wanna have fun ----- Cyndi Lauper
Amanda ---- Boston
A Little Bit Country , A little Bit Rock and Roll ---- Donny and Marie Osmond

I picked a little bit of everything. I like these songs when I am in certain moods. Some songs are good for dancing, some songs are good for when you are feeling blue, some songs are just fun to listen to and some songs help you relax.

Day 23.)Something you wish you had done in your life.

Something I wish I have done in my life would be to travel more. I wish that I had found a way for me to do a united States arcitecture tour and go visit the sourthern plantations in the South. I wish I had been able to recover my mission journal that was stolen from me by some creep trying to get back at me! I wish that I had tried out for the volleyball team in High School. I was good but I just did not have the confidence in myself to play. I wish that I had tried out for the plays in high school instead of waiting for my senior year to do that.

Day 22.)Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

This is a hard one for me because there are a lot of things that I wish I had not done but on the other hand if I had not done these things I never would have learned the lessons that I have learned. I have made some wrong choices in my life but those choices have taught me some valuable life lessons. The only regret I have is that I tend to learn the hard way. How much less painful for me it would have been not to make the choices that I had made.

Day 21.)(scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

I would go visit her in the hospital and tell her I was sorry for getting in a fight with her.I would then offer to ghelp cook a meal for her family while she recovers.

Day 20.)Your views on drugs and alcohol.

I believe that drugs and alcohol are bad. They are just a means of running away from one problem and creating several more problems. They do not solve anything but just make situations far worse then they were. Plus they are addicting. the addiction casue the person to be trapped in a prison and it is very difficult to get out. So I believe for a person to be truly happy they need to at all costs avoid drugs and alcohol.

Day 19. What do you think of politics?

What Do I think about Politics. I think that it is sad that the Silent Majority in the united States stays silent until they get really mad at what is going on in Washington. Why is it that the liberal minorities are getting their way by going through the courts. This is ridiculous. We live in a land that says that it is democratic but if we let the minority win we are going to end up with Socialism. I for one do not want to live somewhere where the government forces me to have insurance and forces me to see a doctor and forces me to be healthy their way. I for one do not like doctors. I was given a brain and I intend to use it to keep my self healthy. There are other ways of getting well that do not force me to take pills that will kill me faster then if i had never gone to the doctor in the first place. I do not want to live in a place that forces me to vaccainate my children in order for them to be "accepted" in to school. I will not risk the health of my children in order to conform to the governments idea of Health care. Just because someone has a lot of money does not mean that they will make a good politicians. It seems that as soon as a person gets into a place of power they lose sight of all the little people that the pledged to protect and help. Forgive me for ranting but remember these are just my opinions. You are welcome to yours and If you disagree with me that is okay too.

Day 18.)Your views on gay marriage.

Okay this one may be a bit contoverisal but I will say these are my opinions and this is how i feel so I am sorry if I offend someone. So here goes,
My opinion of Gay Marriage is that it is wrong. I will quote from The Family A Proclamation to the World: The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
It says " We Solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is central to the creators plan for the eternal destiny of his children. All Human beings male and female are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and as such each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic if individual premortal, mortal and eternal identity and purpose."
So God has ordained marriage to be between a man and a woman. Any thing else is wrong. People may believe that they are born with same gender attraction. But they chose to act upon those feelings. they to don have to act on these feelings it is a choice. I can respect a person but I do not have to accept their choices or agree with their choices. I do not force my beliefs and choices on other people they should not force them on me. God is a loving Heavenly father and he will help people overcome these tendencies if they are willing to change.
Marriage is between a man and a woman and anything else is a fake pretense for a loving relationship between a man and his wife.
To me there is only marriage between a man and a woman. Anything else is just a relationship that is not marriage.

Day 17.)A book you’ve read that changed your views on something

I am a bookworm. I love to read. The Book that has changed my views on something would have to be The Book of Mormon. The Book of Mormon is a book of scripture. It is another testament of Jesus Christ. By reading it I come closer to my Father in Heaven. I come to know my Savior Jesus Christ. I come to learn that I am a Daughter of a loving Heavenly Father who wants me to be happy. By Reading this book I have learned that if I live the commandments of my Father In Heaven I will become like him and be closer to him. I know that Jesus is my savior. I know that he lives and that he want me to return to live with him someday. I know that the Lord has a plan for me and that if I follow his example I will beable to become as he is. I am so grateful for The Book of Mormon. Every time I read it I learn something new. It is a companion to the Bible because it Testifies of Jesus Christ. It proves that God is no respector of persons but loves his people everywhere.

Day 16.)Someone or something you definitely could live without

This is one about someone or something I could definately live with out. I could live without Dirty diapers. I could live without grumpy kids. I could live without not having a car during the day. I could live without the flu. I could live without junk mail. I could live without obnoxious people who think there opinons are right therefore everyone else is wrong. I could live without people who think that becasue there is oppostion to their way of thinking the opposition is wrong and it is the opposition who is bigeted and biased and racist. I could live without opposition but if I did that then I would never know the good from the evil I would never now real happiness. I would never know gratitude for all the blessings that I have in my life. If there was no opposition then life would be pretty dull.

Day 15.)Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

This is a difficult one for me. Let me think. I would think that it would be my family. There was a time that I had a person in my life that my family didn't like and knew was the wrong person for me and I was hard headed about it and put him in my life anyway and nearly managed to alienate my entire family. Luckily I came to my senses and got rid of this person so I could be with my family but I still have some issues with my relationship with some of my family members because of that idiotic choice I made. So to me Family is very important to me. Family is what gets you through the bad times and the good times. Family is important even if you do not see eye to eye.

Day 14.A hero that has let you down.

For privacy the names in this letter have been changed.
Dear Uncle Ron,
For all of my life I have looked up to you and thought you were a knight in shining armor set out to rescue Damsels in distress on your white charger. When I was little you used to tease me about being found in a cabbage patch and my brother was found in a catalog and my sister found under a rock of broken sand dollars. When I was 12 you gave me a hug and dipped me saying "parting is such sweet sorrow." Just like Cary Grant did to one of the girls in Father Goose that we had watched the night before. Then all at once you were out of my life and you wanted nothing to do with my side of our family. I don't know why you suddenly jsut disappeared from my life but it hurt. Then When I turned 21 and had my farewell for my Mission. We came to see you when your daughter was getting married. You asked me what we were doing there becassue you thought I was busy. Well dear uncle we were doing what we are supposed to we were supporting family. Then when we left you gave me a hug and told me to be careful. So I realiazed that deep down you were still my Knight in shining armor that you were just hiding. I hope some day that you realize how much you niece loves you . But I guess I will just have to settle with the memories I have of you until you get your act togther and realize that family is very important. Thanks for listening.
Your Niece
MRE

Day 13.A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)

Dear Michael McClean,
Whenever I am having a hard time I always enjoy listening to your music. You songs offer comfort and help me realize that I am not alone and that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me. Some of my favorite songs of your are: You are not Alone, From Gods arms to my arms to Yours, The Garden, and of course I cannot forget the Forgotton Carols. I am so grateful to have these songs when I am feeling down or feeling like I am a failure. They uplift me sometimes they make me more sad but most of the time they help me get a different perspective on life which helps cheer me up. Thank you for being so inspired to write these songs.

A loyal Listener

I really like the songs by Michael McClean because they are so uplifting. I am grateful that there is good music out there that I can listen to when I need a pick me up.

Day 12: Something I never get complimented on

This is a hard one. Hmm let me think. Something I never get complimented on huh? Well I like to cook and I do cook some good dinners but I guess my boys , hubby included just take me forgranted. That is okay that is part of being mom. I do not get complimented on how hard I work to help my boys grow. But I would not want to be complimented on that somedays because I feel like I am the one learning and not my boys. I am grateful to me a hard working mommy who has her hands ful with to very smart and intelligent let boys who at times always know which buttons to push to make mommy crazy. I hope that I can continue to help them learn and progress and that someday I will feel less frazzeled at the end of the day. Until then another tired mommy bites the dust!

Day 11: Something someone is always complimenting you on

The compliments that I get the most often are how cute my boys are. I do have to admit that my boys are cute. But Hey i can be biased I'm their mom!

Day 10 Some one I Let go Or wished I didn' t know

There is this person that I know that I wish I didn't know. I met him at work when I was in college. He was the first guy that actually really paid attention to me. I was flattered of course. But it turns out he was a real jerk and he was just using me. I am grateful that he is out of my life. I wish I had never met him. But if that wish came true then all the lessons that I learned from that epsiode in my life would be null and void and that would not be right because I am grateful for the lessons I learned such as How much I love my family and how much my heavenly father loves me and is watching out for me. He really does see the big picture even if I can't from my limited perspective. I think he knew I needed that experience to help me learn and grow and years later become a better Mother. Though Going through that experience at the time with that person I never thought that it would make me a better mother.

Day 9: Someone you did not want to let go or just sorta drifted

This was a intresting one for me to do because of how many places and times I have moved. But I was actually able to come up with a couple of people.
When I was in elementary school there was a girl there that we loved doing things together and this was ata time when the Babysitters club book series was very poplar my friend and I decieded that we wanted to start our own club and we would come up with all sorts of ideas where to have the clubhouse. Of course we never actually had a club house but it sure was funn dreaming together. We even had secret names for each other for birthdays and other things. So here is to Jinx and Melly Mouse. I had another friend in elementary school that we have actually reconneted through facebook. It is really nice to remember that I do have some fond memories of Growing up.
The other person that I wish that I had not drifted away from was a friend I met while I was serving my mission in Wisconsin. It was my first companion. I really liked her and she sure taught me alot. We just lost contact because life happens.

Day 8 Someone who made my life heck or treated me awful

This is a difficult one to answer. There was a time in my life that I made some very bad decisions so that my life was awful. There was another person involved but I think that becasue of my own decisions the conseqeunces of my decisions were what made my life Heck. So I guess if I look at it that way I made my own Hell. It took a couple of years for me to change my life around but I did. With the help of my Savior Jesus Christ I was able to make the changes necessary to be happy again. So by taking responsiblity for my own actions if I had not made those choices I would not have suffered. But I learned a lot of lessons from that experience that I do not think I would have learned otherwise. So dispite how difficult and painful it was for me If I had to do it again I would to help the people that those decsions affected as well as me.

Day 7: Someone who has made you life worth living

This is a fun one. I get to brag about my special someones. Actually I have alot of people who have made my life worth living. But the one O am going to brag about is my grandma. She has been a wonderful Grandma over the years. I have always loved visiting and talking with her. She makes me feel loved and special. I love my grandma. She is the best grandma in the world. She is a very unique and outstanding individual. My Grandma is my best friend. She listens to me and she helps me understand who I am. She is a very special person who has had a really difficult life but still is able to have a positve outlook. She is very Gentle and caring and loves her family very very much. I Love you Grandma.

Another person who has made my life worth living is my wonderful Husband. Stephen is really a sweetheart. He loves me and he loves his boys. He loves taking care of his family. I am so grateful to have him in my life. I love the fact that when I have had a hard day with my two little boys he comes home and takes care of them so I can have a much needed break. He surprises me and loves to tease me and it makes me feel very loved and needed. He is sensitive and kind and is very thoughtful. I am so glad that he is mine. It has been a nice 5 years having a wonderful husband. I hope the next five years are even better!

Day 6: Something I hope never to do

I hope never to live in Hawaii. I know that this sounds odd. I would love to visit Hawaii as much as I can I just don't think I want to live there because I think that If I lived there I would take all of its Beauty for granted. So I do not want to live there.

I hope never to eat esacargot. I have to agree with my Sister in law that would be gross. I cannot imagine having a snail slither down my throat. I can't eat oysters for the same reason. I have eaten a oyster so I know what I am talking about.

I hope I am never robbed again. I have had the experience of having a person take all my personal belongings and I do not like the feeling of being violated. I hope never to have to experience that again.

I hope that I am never in a situation where I cannot protect my children. My children are my life and I will do anything in my power to protect them and have them grow up to be responsible adults.

Day 5: Something I hope to do

Now this one is a little easier for me to answer. There are a lot of things that I would like to do. I would like to go camping with my two boys at Yellowstone National park. I would Like to visit Scotland and Wales. I would Like to serve another mission this time with my Hubby. I want to take a family vacation to Hawaii! I would like to be the best mommy I can possibly be so that my boys are happy andsecure when they grow up and start families of their own. I would like to take a road trip across america visiting all the national historic sites along the way. I would like to meet Thomas S Monson and Henry B Eyring and Dieter Uctdorf.
These are just some of the things that I would like to do.

Day 4: Something I have to forgive someone for

THis is a tough one. I know that forgivness is for ourselves as much as it is for the other person. I am grateful that we have the opportunity to forgive people. But I asl know that we have a responsibilty to take care of ourselves. Just becasue we forgive someone does not mean that we have to stay in a situation where we will continue to get hurt. You can forgive someone without having to trust them again. For example if one is in an abusive relationship be it emotional physical or what ever you can get out of the situation and still forgive the person who truly hurt you. I had a friend in High School who really used me and was not very nice to me. I realize now that she had issues that she liked to take out on me. It has taken me several years but I have forgiven her. I do not have hang out with her anymore or put myself in situation where she can use me again but I realize that she was just living her life the only way she knew how. But hI have forgiven her and got on with my life.

Day 3: Something I have to forgive myself

there are a lot of things that I have to forgive myself for but I think that the one I will talk about is being judgmental. I have a habit of making lighting quick judgments before I really know the rest of the story. I need to work very hard on not judging other people but what I see going on in their life becasue I really do not have the full story. I have had people do that to me and it hurts. I need to realize that I am not perfect so I canot expect others to be perfect either. Becasue I am not perfect I make mistakes such as judging others and I need to forgive myself and work on not making lighting quick judgments.

Day 2: What I love about myself

This seems to be kinda egocentric and I do not like being egocentric. But Lets see what I can come up with. I love that I have a talent playing the Piano! I love being able to sit at the piano and make music come out of the keys. I love that i am a mom.
Being a mom has brought me such joy. It also comes with a lot of frustration but being with my two boys is worth all the heartache as well as all the joy. I love my ability to be able to read. It is nice to have a hobby that will take me into my imagination and let me relax for a little while before retuning to the real world.

I am grateful for my Savior Jesus Christ. I know that becasue of him I can and will overcome my weaknesses which are many. I am grateful that I am part of a family who loves me for who I am. That is about all that i can come up with today. so till tomorrow Ciao!

Day 1 of 30 days of Truth.

I saw this on my sister in laws Blog and thought it was a fun idea. Lets see if I can be diligent about doing it.
So here is Day 1 Something I hate about myself

This was hard. I really had to think about it. I am not sure that there is anything that I really hate about myself except maybe my lack of motivation it excecise. I Do fine for a week or so then I just lose the motivation. But being a mother of two active little boys keeps me going even if I am not doing a daily routine. I try to be really positve about myself so it is hard to say what I really hate about myself. I try not to feel that emotion. SO i guess in the end I just hate my lack of motivation. Lets see what I can come up with for tomorrows blog. until Tomorrow! Ciao!

No more Crib!

My Baby has moved into a big boy bed. He has outgrown his crib. Unfortunatly now that he is in a big boy bed it is almost impossible to get him to take naps now. But on the bright side he goes to bed earlier. It is had to believe that Alex is Two already. Both he and Benjamin are keeping me on my toes these days. They like it when I wear dresses and skirts because the try to pull me alround the house by my skirt. It is kind of funny until they start fighting over me. Both of them are momas boys and they do not like sharing me with each other. I cannot believe that it is October already. I am done with my Christmas shopping this year so now I do not haver to stress out over the season and I can avoid all the stores during the Holidays which is nice.

Wow where did the Summer GO!

This summer has flown and the Eigel Cru has been really busy. We went to the Zoo and the boys loved the animals. Then in June the boys and I went down to California to Visit my sister and her kids. I actually got to see a lot of people even though someone is was supposed to meet up with just totally blew me off. Then in July we went to the enchanted forest with is a fairy tale theme park. THe boys had a lot of fun seeing the fairy tale adventures. August was an interesting month. We got to say goodbye to my Brother who went into basic training. Then Alex turned two. We also went to the Oregon Steam up which has a lot of tractors, miltary vehicles and even a small model train you can ride. Benjamin really had fun riding the train. Alex did not enjoy the steam whistles too much becasue they were so loud they hurt his ears.
NOw it is September. Wow Times really has flown. On Saturday we went to the Shrewsbury renannsaince Faire. That was fun. It was fun watching the knights joust. The boys really loved the horses and seeing all the swords. It was fun looking at all the different capes and dresses that they had for sale there. I have managed to keep the family really busy this summer which is a good thing.

Potty Training Blues

I am trying to potty train Benjamin. We are having some luck but he just doesn't want to do it. He just likes playing in the bathroom and flushing all the toilet paper. I am working on it but I hope it will click for him soon.

On to another subject. I got to say good bye to my brother Clayton on Monday. He goes into basic training in South Carolina on Monday and he will be gone for 6 months. I was having a hard time knowing waht to do aobut telling him goodbye because our relationship has always been very rocky. That is just because our personalites are so different. I love him very much and am so proud of him. I was able to get a hug from him as I was leaving to take my boys home and I just started to cry. It is extremely hard for me to say good bye and I know that he is doing what he must to take care of his little family. I am just grateful I was able to say goodbye and I hope that he knows how much I love and admire him.

I am grateful to have alex and Benjamin to take care of even when they do try my patience at times. Benjamin is learning his ABC's and it is so fun to see him learn. He is talking more and it is funny having him engage in a conversation with us when we did not know he was listening to what we were saying.

Why?

why is is that when you are in the store if one child is being good the other one is having a melt down? Why can they not just both be good at the same time? I was in the store with Benjamin and Alex and benjamin just had a major melt down. Alex started crying becasue he was bing sympathetic with his brother but I eventually had to take Benjamin out of the store. Stephen was with me so I left Alex with him. But I swear benjamin was just being a pill.

Last Friday I was able to go on a date with Stephen with out children. That was really nice since I have not been without the boys for who knows how long. We went to see the movie The Last airbender which was a lot of fun. THen we went out to dinner at the Golden Tent which is a mongolian grill reataurant in Salem. IT was so nice eating dinner without having to worry wither someone besides myself was getting enough to eat. It was nic to be able to eat dinner without someone wanting what I was eating as well. It was nice to be able to have a break from my two darling boys. By the time we got home Alex was so tired that he slept through the night without having me rock him in the middle of the night. THat was wonderful. On Saturday we went into portland to go to one of the malls there and both boys through fits. It made me wonder why we take them anywhere at all.

Cutting ones hair

Benjamin decided to cut his own hair this morning. Now I am going to have to buzz his head to make his hair not look so funny. I have no idea what possessed him except that he is a typical three and a half year old. I willl post a picture of his buzz once I get it done. But for now this is what the top of his head looks like! So with the pictures I added Benjamin now Has a buzz. I keep looking over my shoulder because he look older.

Where did June Go?

I cannot believe that June is over already. Where did the month go? I am greatful that I was able to go on a vacation with my boys this month. But now I need a vacation from my vaction. I am grateful that I have such precious little boys. I am grateful to live in this nation that we live in. I am grateful for the freedoms that we have in this country and I am grateful to those who died to give this freedom to me! God Bless the USA.
I am grateful to be a full time mom! I have always wanted to be this and now I get to take care of my precious boys! I struggle each day to find the silver linings in all the things that happen. But I do know that I have a heavenly father who is watching over me and my little family.

Vacation

We Just got back from a nice week long vacation to California. It was a long drive for me and the boys. But it was a lot of fun doing a road trip. My boys did a really good job of putting up with being in the car for 9 hours. I really was quite impressed. I had fun driving in California becasue it was something I had never done before. I learned how to drive after I moved to Oregon.

We managed to get a lot done while we were down there. We went and visited with my Sister and her kids. We saw the Sacramento Temple and Drove to Windsor where I grew up and visited with my Grandma! We went swimming a lot and we went to the Jelly Belly Factory. Then After I left my Sisters we wenjt to Sonoma where I was supposed to visit with an Old Friend but she totally blew me off. So we went and visited my grandparents in Sonoma. That was fun. We went to Train Town in Sonoma and the boys and I got to ride a train. They really loved that! All in all it was a fun vaction. I will do a road trip again but not anytime soon. It is a long car ride!

Dead Bird Rising!

Benjamin was playing in the backyard and then I could not hear him so I went out side to see what he was doing. I saw him sitting in the lawn talking to something. I went over to see what it was and it was a very injured blue jay. It was funny watching benjamin talk to it and have it squeak back at him. But I knew that the bird would not survive whatever was the matter with it.

So I took Benjamin back into the house and had him play with Alex while I took care of the bird. Let me tell you putting that bird out of his misery was not easy and made me feel awful. IT did not help that it sqeaked at me while I was trying to help it. I was greatful that the episode was over in a few minutes and then I buried the bird.

After I was done with the bird Benjamin kept asking me where the bird went. I sat him down and explained that the bird was hurt and went to heaven. He accepted this explanation only after I told it to him 3 or 4 times during the day. I know that I did the best thing for the poor bird but it made me sick to my stomach especially since I have been taught to be kind to animals and not hurt them. I also know that I had to take care of the bird before they boys decided that they wanted to touch it and play with it becasue who knows what germs it was carrying.

I am Just grateful that is over with. Hopefully I will not have any more mortally injured animals in my yard again.

getting ready for vacation!

This year I get to take a road trip with my boys. I am going to California to visit my sister and visit places where I grew up. I am so excited for the road trip. This will be the first road trip that I have taken by myself since I have been able to drive. I am so grateful that I can drive becasue for a few years there I thought that I was never going to be able to drive and that was very depressing.

Benjamin and Alex are looking forward to visiting with their cousins. My Husband is not ready to take a road trip with the boys so I told I will do it and I will survive and then next time it is your turn. Ha ha ha!
But I am looking forward to the trip becasue it is something I have not done before and It will be nice not to stuck in my house with the two boys becasue I have no vehicle.

I realize that it will be a long car ride but going to california will be worth it. I am going to visit Windsor while I am down there and I am excited to see all the changes that have happened since I have not been there for 13 years. Wow Can it be 13 years already. I am getting old and didn't know it. It will be nice to be on a vaction since I have not had a long one for a couple of years.

I am a little nervous about driving in california because I actually learned how to drive in Oregon but I am looking forward to this new adventure that I am taking my boys and me on. It should be a lot of fun

Zoo Day!

It is sunny and warm today in Oregon. It is so nice. So we decided to go to the zoo. Alex has never been to the zoo and benjamin was 18 months the last time we went to the zoo. We had a lot of fun seeing all the animals. ALex liked the lion. He woiuld look at the lion and then roar. He does that when he sees a lion on tv and now he has seen a lion in real life. Benjamin's favorite animal was the elephant. we got to see a baby elephant which was fun. and all day since he has been saying that he has seen an "elelphant" which is what he call them.

The Oregon zoo has a fun exhibt where you get to feed lorikets and they fly all over the place. It was fun watching the boys. Benjamin had a blast feeding the birds even when the birds started fighting with each other over who got to have the necter. Then Benjamin had had a lorikeet land in his hair. I turned around to get a picture of that and my camera's batteries died. Of course it would do that when I finally had a picture that I wanted to take. But it was a lot of fun. Benjamin really liked the sea otter as well. THat was fun. We then went on a train ride around the zoo and benjamin and alex really enjoyed that. They are doing a dinosaur exhibt at the zoo so as we were going aropund on the train we would see dinosaurs in the trees. That was fun.

All in all todeay has been a fun day. But of course it wore the boys out so now they are cranky as can be. Now I understand how my mother must have felt after taking us somewhere really fun for the day then coming home and having us be cranky. Sorry Moma!

Clingy Children

So I am not as stressed out as I was last time I posted but my children especially Alex is being really clingy. He will not sleep through the night again unless he is sleeping on top of me. So for the last couple of nights I have not been able to sleep in my own bed. Oh well this too shall pass.

The Weather has been crazy lately. Yesterday we had hail, rain thunder and lightening. It is may for goodness sake it is not supposed to be hailing. The sun was out for a little bit this morning so the boys and I went out for a walk by the lake. That was fun. We saw lots of birds and a couple of dead fish floating upside done in the lake. But the cutest thing we saw was the baby goslings. The moma geese hissed at us as we walked by but it was fun seeing the goslings. I am so grateful for my double stroller. Since I don't have a car during the day It is nice to have the stoller so I can put the boys in it and get out of the house.

the return of the stressed out mommy!

Have you ever seen a woman about ready to pull her hair out and jump up and down and scream because nothing she does pleases her darling 20 month old son! IF Not you do not have to go far because here I am. I have reached the point that I am ready to run out the door and run down the street as fast As i can screaming at the top of my lungs. Alex is not sure what he wants and so he just screams. IF I give him a cracker it is not the right cracker. If I pick him up to hold him and try to comfort himj he just screams louder and wiggles until I put him down. Trying to get the laundry down when he wants your full undivided attention is not easy and trying to get the house clean is near impossible when all he wants is to be held. Then when I sit down with him to cuddle him becasue my back is about to break becasue he is such a good sized boy he screams becasue he wants mommy to be holding him. This goes on all day and then at night he finally goes to sleep and is so precious it makes being a stressed out mommy all worth it to see the little angel fast asleep.
I love being a mommy but its days like these that I really question my sanity. But when a little one curls up in your arms asleep and peaceful at last it makes all the hair pulling and screaming worth it. Now I just need to find time to unwind before I have to get up in the morning and my hectic day starts all over again.

Random

Well I survived the cleanse.I did feel better after doing it despite how hard it was to have self control. I am doing my best to excercise. But I do know that if I stress over the weight that I know I need to lose I am not going to lose any. So I just need to relax and keep working out and I know that the weight will go away eventually.

I am so grateful for the easter season. I am grateful for the Savior and his sacrifice for me. I know that his sacrifice was the ulimate gift of Love. I am grateful for the season of spring and the opprtunity we have to celebrate a rebirth of sorts.

It is so much fun watching my Children grow. I am so blessed with having two special boys to take care of. They make life very interesting. Life is never dull around here.

Alexander likes going into the kitchen and taking the pots and pans and cooking utensils and pretending he is cooking. It is very cute and I really don't mind cleaning up after he has created a disaster zone in my kitchen.

Benjamin is getting to the point that he likes to take his library books and he sits down and looks at the pictures and tells me the story. It is very fun watching him learn to love books.

It is hard having only one car in the family because that means I am stuck at home all week. But the weather is getting better so that we go out for walks. I am grateful to be able to go out side the house and see the beautiful tulips and daffodils and other flowers. Spring and Fall are my favorite seasons because of the beautiful colors.

Cleanse

I am trying to do a 3 day juice cleanse. I have a day and a half left to go. I am not hungry which is a good thing but it is hard making meals for my family and having them eat it and not me. I like cooking but it is hard not to sample what I am cooking for the family while I am on this cleanse. I know this is good for me but it is requiring a lot so will power. I think it would be harded if I was Hungry so I do see the blessing. I know I can do this but it is difficult.


Alexander and Benjamin are keeping me busy. Benjamin is starting to talk in sentences and it is really funny hearing repeat whatever Stephen and I are saying. Alexander is learning to talk as well and he loves to chatter to whomever will listen to him.

I was able to have a night out the other night and Stephen called me on the phone because Benjamin wanted to talk to me. So he put Benjamin on the phone and Benjamin started talking. It was funny because when he started talking he sounded exantly like my niece Alanna used to on the phone. So for a minute there I was not sure who I was talking to.

The Boys are not really good at sharing me. Alex likes to sit on my lap and cuddle with me and this of course makes Benjamin want to be on my lap. then of course having Benjamin there makes Alex mad and so they start pushing each other and I am in the middle.

These Pictures are of the Boys Getting along. The Last Picture is of Benjamin being a Lumber Jack because he often see his daddy outside chopping wood.

My Husband the Sweetheart.

My husband is the best. He really came up with a way to surprise me this time and it made me feel really good. I get this Catalog called the J. Peterman Catalog and it has some really neat clothes in it. They tend to be on the pricey side through. There was this one dress in it that I really fell in love with and I really wanted it. But I looked at the price and knew I had to be content just looking at it in the catalog. My husband surprised me by ordering it for me. So now I get to have a really cool Easter Dress. I haven't had an easter dress since I was a little girl. Let me tell you this made me feel very special and made me love my husband all over again. I am so excited for it to come it the mail. I cannot wait to wear it. I know that whenever I wear it I will think of my husband surprising me. I have not felt this happy or giddy in a long time. I will post a picture of me in the dress when I get it.

Music

I am the Primary pianist for my ward and as such I need to practice the songs during the week so that I do not sound like an idiot while playing for the children on sunday. So as I am practicing benjamin comes up to me and requests a song for me to play so that he can sing. I play the song for him and he goes "again mommy again". It is kind of fun having my three year old come up to me and request primary songs for me to play to him. IT is som much fun listening to him sing. I really need to get it on video but it is kind of hard to video tape and play the piano so that Benjamin can sing.

Alexander has started being picky about the things that he eats. If the item is broken or jagged in any way shape or form he refuses to eat it. it has to be perfectly whole. I have not got a clue where he gets it from. But having my 19 month old refuse to eat something just becase it is not perfectly whole is rather frustrating.

Smart Kid

Benjamin was jumping off the Coffee Table and saying he was flying. I told him to stop it or he would get in trouble. So He stoped jumping off the table and started falling off the table. He said to me "I'm not jumping mommy." I had a very hard time not laughing.

Memories!

I was on facebook the other day and found a friend that I have not seen in years. I was not sure she would remember me. But she did. She even posted a picture of us when we were in second ot third grade together. When I saw the picture of us dressed up to go exploring on her property it brought back a lot of fond memeories of my childhood that I had forgotton about. Whitney if you are reading this, I just have to say thank you for reconnecting. I had forgotton that I did have good friends growing up despite how many times I have moved in my life.

I am grateful for my memories of Jinx and Whitney. I had fun with them during our elementary years. It is fun looking back on old pictures and having the fun memories come back.

Finally

Now that Alexander is weaned he is finally sleeping through the night. after 18 months of being up 2 to 6 times a night it is nice to finally get a good night's sleep.
Alexander and Benjamin are having trouble sharing their mommy. When One is on my lap the other one wants up as well and then they start pushing each other off my lap or pulling each others hair. and of course I am stuck in the middle. It is nice to be loved but sheesh this is a bit much. Benjamin is learning to count and he is counting his steps and every thing in the house. It is so much fun watching him learn. Benjamin was watching me do this and wanted his picture on here as well so here it is.

Sunny and Warm.

The sun is out today and it is beautiful. The boys and I got out of the house and went on a 2 mile walk. Benjamin walked a mile of it all by himself. Then He got tired and wanted a ride in the stroller. It is amazing what seeing the sun does for one's attitude. It is hard to be gloomy and down when the sun is shiny and it is in the 60's. The boys love being outside and I like letting them when it is sunny and nice outside.

Finally

Alexander had slept through the night two nights in a row and I have bascically stopped nursing him. Finally I will be able to sleep through the night at least for a little while.

Benji's Flowers

Stephen was a sweetheart and came home from work yesterday with a bouquet of Red roses for me.We Put the Roses in the vase and placed the vase on the table. Benjamin saw the flowers and said "Pretty Flowers". I asked Benjamin whose flowers they were and he turned to me and Said "Benji's Flowers." I started to laugh and then asked him "are you sure those aren't mommy's flowers?". He looked at me and said with a staight face "no Mommy those are Benji's flowers." He has reached the stage where everything is his.
We were watching a movie last night that had a dog in it. Alex saw the dog and started going "rough rough" just like the dog. So he is learning the different sounds that animals make.

I love you mommy

I have noe been getting enough sleep lately becasue Alex has decided that once he wakes up in the middle of the night it is time to be with mommy and not go back to sleep very frustrating. ANyway I was feeling grumpy and exhausted and annoyed with my children when Benjamin came up to me, looked at me then with a grin on his face said " I love you mommy" and gave me a big hug and kiss. Lets just say that my heart melted and I knew why I am a mom. Having a sweet little three year old boy come up to me ans say I love you mommy really brightened up my day and made me feel better. I just love my two little boys

Sleepless still Mommy monster

I do not know what it is about night time but alexander after I put him to bed at 8:00 wakes up at midnight and screams for the rest of the night. If he is with me he is fine but thinks it is play time. I am so tired that it is very diffucult to function. Because Alex screams all night he wakes up benjamin and benjamin climbs into my bed and sleeps there the rest of the night. With out sleep I am turning into a zombie and It is very hard to have patience with my boys. Then when it is morning Alexander is as charming as can be and I'm the one who is a monster.

Sleepless in Keizer

Since I have decided to wean Alexander he has decided that he does not want to sleep period. I am down to only nursing him at bedtime but he has decided to scream all night long now to punish me if I do not nurse him during the night and even then that is not working. It is amazing how a sweet independant child can turn in to an absolute monster at bedtime. He will go to sleep in my arms but as soon as my arms fall asleep and I put him to bed he wakes up screaming. He will not sleep with me in my bed. I think that is because his daddy is in the bed. But He sleeps in my arms in the recliner. I hope he goes to sleep in his bed soon because my arms are about to fall off.

But on a good note. I took Alexander to nursery today and he stayed there all by himself the entire two hours that I was playing for primary. He is getting to be brave at least during the day now.

3 year old doing a cardio work out.

Benjamin got up from his nap today and Said "Mommy I want to do mommy's workout." He knows that I workout on my trampoline when he is down for a nap. So I put on my workout video just to see what he would do. HE did his best to keep up with her and I must say that it was really funny watching him workout on the trampoline.
I think that I will be able to keep up with my working out just becasue it is so cute watching my son do it along with me. It is kind of funny watching a 3 yearld try to do jumping jacks on a trampoline.

excercising with mommy

I got a trampoline for my birthday to help me work out and I hardly get to use it because my two wonderful little boys think that it is there toy. So I have set my workout time for when they are taking a nap.
Alexander is getting to be quite the handful. He is 18 months and is climbing on everything. Benjamin was never a climber so I cannot leave anythig important on the table because alexander will get to it.
Benjamin is three and is learning everything from counting to his colors. He was eating something the other day and started laying his crackers out in a row and counting.
I am keeping busy chasiing my two boys around the house. I just love being a stay at home mom.